Great leaders disappoint

Being disappointed by a hero is a nonprofit right of passage. Even great leaders can’t know everything. They won’t perform perfectly all of the time. They face pressures and stresses, have good days and bad. Great leaders are human.

Occasionally, some role models really let you down. A high-profile organizer turns out to be a temperamental tyrant. An inspirational speaker on stage turns out to be a dismissive misogynist behind the scenes. But those occasions are rare. Most of the time, we simply realized that our role models are humans.

It’s a strange feeling when a hero transforms into an ordinary person. The light you’ve been following dims. The trail they blaze seems fainter. If you’re not prepared for this, you might feel disheartened, might even question your original goal.

This realization can be empowering, too. Because if they are like you, then you are also like them.

Stand very still, and listen quietly. You’ll hear a little voice whispering inside you: “I bet I can do better than that.” It’s true.

Of heroes and humans

If you want to be a great leader, know this: meaning well won’t be enough.

You’ll hear a lot in the social impact world about the importance of a leader’s vision and their ability to stand for something. Others will encourage you to tell your origin story and reward you for inspiring them with your ideals and your courage. You’ll make sacrifices for the cause, and those sacrifices will add to your aura of nobility. You’ll feel the steady thrum of the mission, propelling you forward and infecting others with a sense of purpose.

You’ll need humility, too. When you are most confident, most certain that you are on the path of goodness, you need to step lightly. The more people have faith in you, the more they celebrate your work or your vision, the more careful you will need to be.

People who believe they are good can easily lapse into unethical or immoral behaviour. People think their past goodness gives them permission to engage in harmful behaviour in the present — a kind of free pass to do something they’d normally see as unethical. Ironically, the more moral we’ve been, the more easily we can rationalize bad behaviour.

This is moral licensing

When we think we are “good”, we may be more likely to act in ways that are unethical or unhelpful. This phenomenon is called moral licensing.

A few years ago, researchers in the psychology department at Princeton University wanted to know if people who “proved” they were not sexist would then make a sexist decision. The answer was yes: study participants who disagreed with sexist statements were then more likely to recommend a man for job. Next, researchers asked if people who “proved” they were not prejudiced would then make a racist decision. Again, the answer was yes.

This line of research spawned a host of other experiments, each showing that people who describe themselves as caring went on to donate less to charities or do less to protect the environment.

No greater good

It’s not hard to see how moral licensing plays out in social impact work. Swimming in good intentions, pressed by outside demands and expectations, and hampered by limited resources, the conditions for taking short cuts are perfect.

There are two ways that moral licensing shows up in everyday life for nonprofits: when idealism clashes with reality, and when we try to achieve big dreams with few resources.

A big part of leadership is figuring out how to move forward when your ideal plan runs into reality. You might give yourself a pass when one compromise seems small in comparison to a larger goal. You might also be tempted to give yourself a pass because you spend a lot of time straddling worlds with different priorities.

There is no escaping these kinds of choices; they come up in strategy, fundraising, public engagement, and management all the time. When you become a leader, you quickly realize that every gain comes at some kind of cost. The way you navigate those trade-offs will define your leadership.

How to lead better

You won’t become a better leader by steering clear of difficult decisions. Temptations come your way, like it or not. There will be trade-offs with everything you do.

You can become a better leader by anticipating and thinking through how you want to navigate tough situations, and by taking responsibility for every choice. And you learn from the role models right in front of you.

You can spot a leader who is wisely navigating difficult choices because they seek the best — not just the easiest — way forward. They talk about trade-offs openly and are willing to change their minds if they receive new information.

Leaders who are giving themselves a free pass are more likely to act like they have no choice, downplay the potential risks, ignore harm they have caused, or say that they’ve “earned” or “deserve” the option that benefits them most.

Humility

It’s easy to believe everything you do is good when you are cocooned in your story, impassioned by your work, marching along to the mission. It’s easy to justify compromises in the name of some “greater good”. Stay humble.

But give yourself a break. Even the best leaders falter from time to time. They make a bad call or don’t deliver when it counts. They are human. And so are you. Great leadership isn’t about being perfect — it’s about aiming for better every day.

And to those leaders with the eyes of the youngsters upon you: don’t fret about being judged. If you have convinced others this cause is worth their time, then you have succeeded. By inspiring a generation to try harder and come up with new ideas, you have won.

If you have stoked a fire that will burn after you are gone, then you have changed the world. The next generation of leaders will be better than you because of you. This is what progress looks like.

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• Past editions of the The Organizer have also explored the pitfalls and opportunities of ethical leadership, The Organizers #68 and #25 explore power dynamics that leaders face, mind, and create in our choices