Showing up counts

On April 5, millions of people took part in 1,400 protests against the Trump administration’s dismantling of American social, democratic, and economic programs.

These critics weren’t Trump supporters; they were the protestor’s allies. They shared the same goals, but they still criticized the effort. Demonstrations alone won’t save democracy, went their thinking, so those events must be a waste of time. In the eyes of the critics, any action that doesn’t immediately solve a problem is a failure.

Each criticism was met with a stream of replies explaining that building community, creating hope, and just plain-old showing up are necessary steps along the road to change. 

The critics were wrong, and the reply-ers were correct. Yet I found the critics’ comments familiar. Their calls seemed to be coming from inside my house.

Admit it: We all do this all the time

We all criticize things for not being perfect. We focus on a small number of elements that fail to hit the mark, and we overlook the longer list of things that work just fine.  

You’ve surely done this once or twice:

• Checked off something on your to do list, only to feel discouraged by the long list of things you’re supposed to do next
• Focused on the 10% you missed in your last fundraising campaign, rather than paying attention to the 90% raised.
• Noticed one mistake on a slide and decided a whole talk was rubbish. 

It’s natural to have a little negativity bias, whether directed at yourself or others or both. It’s not kind, but it’s natural. 

When you start thinking in binaries, though, that’s toxic. When you think that absolute perfection and total failure are the only two possible outcomes, your mindset starts to hold you back. 

On a personal level, daily life becomes harder and more stressful when you embrace what psychologists call “all-or-nothing thinking”. The more you think like this, the more likely you are to believe your efforts aren’t enough. Or that you yourself aren’t enough. That’s a heavy burden to carry through the world.

When it comes to social impact, all-or-nothing thinking is even more dangerous. 

All-or-nothing leads to nothing

When we allow all-or-nothing thinking to infect social change work, we let a rot take root that makes good things difficult to achieve.

For one, most of the problems you and your organization face are bigger than one program or campaign could ever solve. How many hungry people do you have to feed before you believe you have done something to combat hunger? How many shorelines do you need to naturalize before you decide your restoration efforts count? And what lessons are you passing on to your team, peers, funders, and community along the way? 

If you demand absolute perfection, no amount of effort will ever be enough. No strategy will ever suffice. When that’s true, then what’s the point in trying? 

You can slip from perfectionism into nihilism before you realize what’s happening. That’s why all-or-nothing thinking is a dangerous trap.

Less polish, more grit

Perfectionists want to pick the best strategy in advance. They want to know what works so they can do only that. Their desire to succeed quickly usually comes from a good place; unfortunately, it’s not how life works.

Making a difference in the world is messy. There is no straight line of progress, no perfect strategy that guarantees success. You’ve got to take risks and make mistakes. You’ve got to walk a twisty road. 

Faith and vulnerability

There will be many days when it seems like you haven’t done “enough”. It seems that way because it’s actually true: the work is not done. Yet. 

Gosh, that word is powerful: yet. 

The work is not done yet.

You have not achieved your goal yet.

Just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen. In fact, the one thing you do know for certain is that you won’t succeed if you don’t show up. So you have to keep trying. 

You’ll feel vulnerable, because showing up and testing new ideas means taking risks. You will hit dead ends and you will fail sometimes. That needs to be okay.

It’s okay to have an event that three people attend. It’s okay to write a paper that only one person reads. It’s okay to try things that don’t work if you learn from them or build upon them. We need to take risks to accomplish great things. We need to keep showing up.

When chaos reigns, showing up may be the greatest achievement

You can’t save democracy this Saturday at 1 pm. Nor can you wave a magic wand and make the looming shadows of a global pandemic, historic rates of inflation, and misinformation disappear. 

Sure, it would be lovely to have the power to change everything all at once. But it’s not how society — or nature — has ever worked. 

You plant seeds and later meadows bloom. 

You cast down drops of water until a puddle becomes a river. 

You collect grains of sand until you find yourself surfing a vast desert. 

You remember, when the rest of the world seems to forget. 

One action at a time is all you can ever do, all you can control.

And that’s a good thing. 

Freedom to change

Social impact isn’t about making everyone do what you want them to do. That’s authoritarianism. That’s what the bad guys want.

Social impact is about creating the conditions where all kinds of life can thrive. It’s about creating systems and spaces where unplanned, wonderful things can happen on their own. 

When you’re measuring progress right now, remember that you don’t control the world. Your job is not to ask: did we get what we want? 

The measure of progress that matters most is the one and only metric that you control: did we show up?

When you talk about progress, resist the pressure to pitch perfect solutions. Talk instead about what’s at stake and where you’re at in history. Tell stories about why you — and others — need to show up. Describe what the world looks like if you don’t. Be very clear about what you and others can do to show up. Show people doing it and lead by example. 

But don’t apologize for not solving big problems overnight. Don’t let cynics and critics deceive you into thinking that success should be instant or that progress is linear.

When it comes to impact, persistence matters more than cleverness or righteousness. Showing up is change. So do that. Do it loudly. Do it relentlessly. And don’t say sorry.

After all, the power of a river is contained in mere drops.